This is Ted – one of a pair of teddies given to us in the hospital – one for George, and one for us. Ted’s brother stayed with George – in his crib at the hospital, and has been cremated with George. I guess like a guardian…
Matching bears, keeping everyone in our family safe and comforted – donated from Aching Arms, one of the charities we’d like to support with our fundraising. Ted and his brother, have been significant in our journey of grief and healing.
I’d ask you to reflect back to your childhood, or consider your babies/toddlers, and how important a cuddle from a teddy bear is for comfort and soothing. ‘Ted’ has been exactly that for us.
He came home, with one of George’s blankets, and has been there for cuddles (yes, I’m 39 and cuddle a teddy bear sometimes – try it, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed!) and to remind us that his ‘brother’ is looking after George.
In many ways, Ted almost represents George. Cuddling a bear instead of your baby is no comparison, but it’s really the only option we have. And Ted has received many many cuddles…he’s a hero in our house – and we often joke that he’s going to need his fur, his stuffing, his arms, and his legs replacing eventually…until really he’s a different bear (Trigger’s broom?)
I remember waking up in the middle of the night, in hospital, and looking at Ted sitting there (exactly as he is in the first picture above) and telling him “You’ve got a big job on your hands – looking after us”. He was put up on a pedestal, and hasn’t let us down yet.
For comparison, here’s some pictures of how he looks now – I think you’ll see he’s been held tight! Ted has his own personality, often going on his own little adventures (when we can’t find him), or looking particularly proud of himself/grumpy (usually in line with how we feel). Ted came away with us when we went camping last July, our first time away since George was born, and a comforting reminder that George was with us on our travels in Ovii.
Unsurprising then that we’d like to support Aching Arms to send more bears out to bereaved parents.
Aching Arms says the benefits of donating a bear to bereaved parents are (https://achingarms.co.uk/working-with-hospitals-new/):
- You are acknowledging the life of their baby and recognising the significance of their loss in a society that prefers not to talk about it
- You know parents have left with valuable information on where to get immediate help
- You are providing a comforter that can be held by the mother (and father) in times of distress
So far, they’ve donated 15,000 bears to hospitals around the UK.
It’s very sad that so many bears are needed, and this doesn’t even come close to the number of babies lost during pregnancy and birth. Tommy’s website demonstrates the stats for 2018 – these numbers are PER DAY in 2018.
We hope our fundraising can support more parents to be comforted by the hand of friendship from Aching Arms, and cuddles & guardianship from their own bears.
In future, I’ll introduce you to Buns, Ted’s mate. But Ted gets the limelight for now 🙂
If you feel you can support us to raise funds for Aching Arms, please donate here.
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